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September 26, 2008
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Cat scratch Writers preview. by PSOWILL Cat scratch Writers preview. by PSOWILL

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:) my second entry into the Da writers contest. I wanted to redo and old story i did for my character Cat Scratch. [link]

Link to the contest. [link]

This is sort of a wip cause I might change the pages cause it looks like it's too big for 2 pages.

:) any help is appreciated.

:) DOWN LOAD TO READ.
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:iconthetifftiff:
thetifftiff Sep 28, 2008
I like it so far, I can definitely picture it the way you describe everything.

I'm not good at critiquing writing aside from the fact I noticed a few typos, all on page 2: dialogue of panel 1, description of panel 2... and I thought I found another one but I can't find it again. ^^;
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:iconpsowill:
D: I think I got them all but if I missed a few let me know.
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:iconthetifftiff:
thetifftiff Sep 28, 2008
I did find another one. In the first panel of the first page you wrote 'where' instead of were.

Also the S in Scratch should be captialized in the first panel of the second page and the word should have an apostrophe and an s since they're her fingers. Actually you have the s lower case in there a few times when it should be capital.

And reading through it again I noticed a grammatical error, you didn't keep the tense in your description of the third panel of the first page, it should either be 'turns around and sees' or 'turned around and saw'.
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:iconpsowill:
:) ok fixed. :) anymore.
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:iconthetifftiff:
thetifftiff Sep 29, 2008
Other than the fact you put the same typo back in panel one of page two, no. ^^;
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:iconthetifftiff:
thetifftiff Sep 29, 2008
At least you fixed everything else. :O
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:iconfear-is-spreading:
fear-is-spreading Sep 26, 2008  Professional General Artist
It kept my interest, which is a compliment in and of itself, but it does seem a bit too long. You're having to put too many details in your dialogue to make the two pages work with back and future story.
Good premise and interesting take though!
I do see one thing wrong with your script.
Page 2, panels 4 and 5 seem to actually be the same panel, and you just had some formatting issues. Cause you put the dialogue from panel 4 in the description area of panel 5. Just a simple celtx typo... I like rereading mine in typesetting mode twice before I even export it as a PDF.

Good job with uploading another one... keep them coming, cause for some reason, I just can't fucking stop myself from uploading more, myself.

-Aaron
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:iconpsowill:
:lol: thanks. I edited this one to be shorter.
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