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I'm not good at critiquing writing aside from the fact I noticed a few typos, all on page 2: dialogue of panel 1, description of panel 2... and I thought I found another one but I can't find it again.
Also the S in Scratch should be captialized in the first panel of the second page and the word should have an apostrophe and an s since they're her fingers. Actually you have the s lower case in there a few times when it should be capital.
And reading through it again I noticed a grammatical error, you didn't keep the tense in your description of the third panel of the first page, it should either be 'turns around and sees' or 'turned around and saw'.
Good premise and interesting take though!
I do see one thing wrong with your script.
Page 2, panels 4 and 5 seem to actually be the same panel, and you just had some formatting issues. Cause you put the dialogue from panel 4 in the description area of panel 5. Just a simple celtx typo... I like rereading mine in typesetting mode twice before I even export it as a PDF.
Good job with uploading another one... keep them coming, cause for some reason, I just can't fucking stop myself from uploading more, myself.